The Coolest Bar-B-Q Known To Man

One afternoon a couple weeks ago, the guy next door came over and said “Come see me on the 3 o’clock break, I have an idea.” When three o’clock rolled around, we all sauntered next door to his shop to see what shenanigans he had in store for us. He walked us out behind the building and gathered us around an old air compressor that was bolted to the concrete. We all looked to him expectantly, knowing this was going to be good, as all his ideas ended up that way. He looked us each in the eye and then looked down to the compressor. He took a deep breath and said “How ‘bout we cut this compressor in half and turn it into a barbecue?” Immediately we could taste the juicy steaks that would inevitably be cooked on the coolest barbecue known to man.
The guy next door asked us how we could get that old compressor inside. Jeremy pipes up with one of his always brilliant ideas: “We could wrap a chain around it and rip it out with one of the trucks!” The guy next door smiled at that idea and congratulated Jeremy on the plan. Chad, being the logical one, had to state the fact that the compressor was bolted into the concrete. Jeremy noted that it wouldn’t be a problem because the bolts were “old and rusted.” The guy next door runs to his truck, pulls out a chain, and wraps it around the compressor. He climbs back into his truck and puts it into gear as we all stand back and excitedly wait for our moment of triumph. We all gaze in amazement as we see the compressor and a giant piece of concrete rotate out of the ground, with the bolts holding strong. The guy next door hears us yelling to stop. As he stops we see the compressor and the concrete slab gently fall back into their original spot. We find ourselves back at square one.
Chad, again being the logical one, went into the shop and came back with a chisel and hammer. He began beating futilely onto the bolts causing only minimal damage. The guy next door speaks up and says “Why don’t I just go get a socket set?” The socket set was the means to an end for the strongest bolts ever to be fabricated. Finally as the compressor was freed from its eternal resting place in the concrete, the guy next door wraps the chain around it. We all stand in proud amazement as we watch the compressor slip and slide behind the truck around the corner of the building. Once we get the compressor into the shop; using a forklift and the manly muscles that seem to be in abundant supply here in the shop, the day comes to an end.
The next day it was time to begin fabrication. Chad and the guy next door decided that the best way to cut the bugger in half was by using a skill saw with a chop saw blade. After twenty minutes of cutting, during our ten o’clock break, we had success at last. We then found some old hinges and welded them into place. The next logical step was to fabricate the handle out of some old tubing we had laying around. Once the handle was welded into place; we carried our new masterpiece outside and lit a gigantic fire in it. We stood back and watched as the flames and the toxic black smoke succeeded in burning off all the old greasy residue inside and the paint on the outside. The guy next door kept voicing his concern about the size of the fire and worrying that the fire department would be called. Once the fire died down, we sanded down any rough edges or any paint that wasn’t burned off by the fire. We sprayed the barbecue with black barbecue paint and built a grate to place inside while Chad and the guy next door went on a hunt for a base. They came back, glowing with pride as they unveiled the small trailer they bought for the barbecue so that “we can tow it wherever our hearts desire.” That Friday, we had a celebration, the culmination of which was eating the juiciest and tastiest Rib Eye’s we had ever eaten. We now know what pride and a sense of accomplishment tastes like, and let me tell you, it tastes DELICIOUS!!