We all have things in life we don’t like, for instance getting hit in the head with a stick, or being tossed down a steep hill, or going to the in-laws. I am sure most people don’t like these things because all of them can be painful. But today I am not talking about those kinds of things I am talking about food. For instance Chad, Chad has a disgust that boils deep within his soul for cooked fruit, more specifically baked apples. Just the smell of baked apples might send him searching for any receptacle capable of holding the amount of vomit that is ready to erupt from his mouth. (This may sound over the top but he really hates baked apples). For me it is Baked Beans, I don’t despise them, I don’t even mind that they show up at every bar-b-q that I have ever been to. I just don’t particularly care for them. What I do care about is that everyone thinks that I need to LOVE them. For example, this is my typical baked beans encounter. “Hey have you tried the baked beans?” “No thanks I don’t like baked beans.” “Oh but you haven’t tried my grandma’s baked beans, they are the best.” “No thanks I’m fine.” “Come on just try them they are the best, you’ll love them.” It is at this point, the fire within me begins to rage. First of all how can everyone’s grandma make the best baked beans? Second why do you have to prove it to me? Is it really not good enough that I don’t particularly care for baked beans? . . . .”Oh my grandmas are the best”. . . REALLY? DO THEY TASTE ANYTHING LIKE BAKED BEANS? OR DO THEY TASTE LIKE ICE CREAM AND CANDY? WHAT? NO, THEY DON’T TASTE LIKE ICE CREAM AND CANDY? WELL THEN I DON’T LIKE THEM, NOW GET OFF OF MY @#$” This of course is what is caged inside my head just begging to be let out, but what inevitably comes out is, “Oh I am sure they are, I will have to try them later but I am pretty full right now thanks.” So please for the good of all mankind, or at least for my sanity (which is questionable anyway), when I am around, just enjoy your grandma’s baked beans without me and don’t flatter yourself by thinking that even though I don’t like baked beans I just might like hers because, “they are the best”. If your grandma’s baked beans don’t taste like normal baked beans then it’s probably not baked beans, it’s probably Chili, which I like.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Baked Beans
We all have things in life we don’t like, for instance getting hit in the head with a stick, or being tossed down a steep hill, or going to the in-laws. I am sure most people don’t like these things because all of them can be painful. But today I am not talking about those kinds of things I am talking about food. For instance Chad, Chad has a disgust that boils deep within his soul for cooked fruit, more specifically baked apples. Just the smell of baked apples might send him searching for any receptacle capable of holding the amount of vomit that is ready to erupt from his mouth. (This may sound over the top but he really hates baked apples). For me it is Baked Beans, I don’t despise them, I don’t even mind that they show up at every bar-b-q that I have ever been to. I just don’t particularly care for them. What I do care about is that everyone thinks that I need to LOVE them. For example, this is my typical baked beans encounter. “Hey have you tried the baked beans?” “No thanks I don’t like baked beans.” “Oh but you haven’t tried my grandma’s baked beans, they are the best.” “No thanks I’m fine.” “Come on just try them they are the best, you’ll love them.” It is at this point, the fire within me begins to rage. First of all how can everyone’s grandma make the best baked beans? Second why do you have to prove it to me? Is it really not good enough that I don’t particularly care for baked beans? . . . .”Oh my grandmas are the best”. . . REALLY? DO THEY TASTE ANYTHING LIKE BAKED BEANS? OR DO THEY TASTE LIKE ICE CREAM AND CANDY? WHAT? NO, THEY DON’T TASTE LIKE ICE CREAM AND CANDY? WELL THEN I DON’T LIKE THEM, NOW GET OFF OF MY @#$” This of course is what is caged inside my head just begging to be let out, but what inevitably comes out is, “Oh I am sure they are, I will have to try them later but I am pretty full right now thanks.” So please for the good of all mankind, or at least for my sanity (which is questionable anyway), when I am around, just enjoy your grandma’s baked beans without me and don’t flatter yourself by thinking that even though I don’t like baked beans I just might like hers because, “they are the best”. If your grandma’s baked beans don’t taste like normal baked beans then it’s probably not baked beans, it’s probably Chili, which I like.
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I totally get the cooked fruit thing...Nasty! but baked beans? Who doesn't like baked beans? The have bacon in them for hecks sake. Now I'm not sure about my Grandma's but my aunts....
ReplyDeleteIf you weren't gay, I'll bet you'd like baked beeans!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you don't like baked beans! You must have never had my moms... They taste like candy and ice cream!!! Remind me to never force you to try them!
ReplyDelete