Thursday, February 12, 2009

Chad's Can

We each have our own "chores" that we take care of at the shop. You see we are not a large company that can afford to have sexy women come in and clean the place for us. We have to take care of it ourselves. Each week, which really means about once a month, we decide who will do which chore. To decide this we use very scientific and complex algorithms. Okay, who am I kidding, we don't even know what algorithms are. We either draw straws, pick a chore out of a hat, the person with most seniority chooses first, or whatever the Ouija board tells us to do. There are four different chores that we take care of in the shop. They are cleaning the shop bathroom, cleaning the kitchen/conference room/Chad's office/break room (yes it is all the same room), cleaning the office bathroom, and cleaning the staging area. The most desirable job is cleaning the office bathroom because no one really uses it so it doesn't get very grimy. The least desirable job is cleaning the shop bathroom. That bathroom gets used quite a bit. In a usual day Blake alone will use that bathroom at least five times. Have I mentioned that Blake is gay? What is interesting about cleaning the multi-purpose room is that random things pile up there each month. You may find a hinge or two lying around, scraps of wood, woodworking magazines, and of course what every shop full of guys needs - the monthly subscription to Maxim magazine. When we clean that room, there is a corner of the room we don't clean; that would be Chad's corner of paradise. We don't want to mess up his feng shui. His corner has a certain aura about it, of course another word for it could be cluttered. To the untrained eye, it looks like a messy pile of papers and maybe a Diet Coke here and there sitting next to the half full 7-11 Big Gulp. Now I must interject here, Chad is a quirky fellow. How can you not like cooked apples and not be quirky? There is a special place in Chad's corner that becomes a work of art as the month progresses. That would be Chad's can. No, we are not talking about his derriere; I am talking about his trash can. His trash can is one of those small trash cans that most of you are sitting next to right this minute in your offices. As the month progresses the trash begins to pile up in his can. A normal person might empty the garbage once it is full; not Chad. Chad seems to derive enjoyment by seeing how tall he can get the trash without it toppling over. He has perfected it to an art form. Most people wouldn't be able to pull off the amazing balancing acts that Chad performs each month with his trash can. Sometimes we secretly add trash to his "masterpiece" to see if he notices that something is amiss. In conclusion Chad's can has become his red Swingline stapler; something he cannot live without, it has become his bosom buddy and will forever be.



  2. oh Amy you know Chad would never use anything to be organized.